Two posts in one week! The FC goes on a little win streak and everyone wants to write! If you too would like to write, please reach out on Twitter on by emailing The Post using the link at the end of the article. - Kevin W

The FC is riding high with 9 points in the last 3 games, and I want them to ride that momentum and get this MOTHERF*#@$ing TROPHY! 

…*cough cough* The Open Cup Trophy is what I’m referring to here.

Yeah, ok we are in a playoff spot, and yeah let’s try to win the MLS cup, and sure we want to keep moving ahead in the table. But there is no trophy for place, so let’s take a look at why we should be pulling out all the stops and taking that sweet sweet Open Cup hardware. 


If I have to see one of our own fans post about a spoon one more time I’m going to take all of the spoons in the city, build a makeshift raft and send said person down the Mississippi so they can make those dumb shit jokes to someone who’s never heard them a million times already.

Give me a shiny trophy and pictures of our team holding it in the air and post it a million times, and then some more because even a million is not enough. And when Nashvillians start talking about spoons we can shove that picture into their face and make them eat it…because what the hell have they ever won? And when the 2 Crew supporters talk about their historic win they had once we can laugh in their face because we are busy watching our team play in the CCL right now, thanks.


“Our roster is so depleted right now, can’t we just lose this game so we can go home?” -That one guy who hates winning.

No! Put out Lucho, put out Alvarro, put out Brenner with his ouchie back and WIN THESE GAMES! Yes, the bench is shallow, but our lord and savior Chris Albright has been secretly hoarding fake MLS money this entire season and holding the allocation spot hostage from anyone who even thinks about signing anymore who played an MLS game before – so this summer we will sign all the shiny new players and let them win the regular season while our current roster of draft picks goes out and wins the Open Cup.

This Tournament Matters

We owe this tournament our blood, soul, first born child (don’t tell my wife) and anything else of value we can throw at it. This is how we got into MLS, just because we are in MLS now doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take it seriously. If anything we should be marketing this tournament like it’s the greatest this to happen to soccer in the US of A.

Give me all of the Loserville City games where when we beat them they have to go home and pretend they didn’t care about losing to us. Give me all of the Riverhounds never ever getting a win against the Orange and Blue, and Oh Yes, give me all the DCFC crying into their skeleton gloves as they curse all the way back to their plastic club’s home that they sold to an anonymous owner (psst it’s the Ford’s).


So this Wednesday when we play a shell of a Revs team, you should be hOpe’ing the whole game we get the W because at the end of this tournament we should be blasting social media about how we are the greatest team to ever grace this league.


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