The Sixth Treatise on Hope, Our Salvation, and Unbelievers
The time has come for our blessed FC to begin its 2021 MLS season. In just a short time, we will all congregate on a Sunday in a beautiful stadium, our modest cathedral, to raise our voices to the heavens and shout our praise for the 12 disciples (11 players and the manager of course) who will deliver us to the promised land.
There are, of course, those who doubt:
But the righteous know to pay no mind to non-believers. There are no secret meanings, no hidden messages, no cryptic parables around the FC. The team, its players, its fans, and its owners are strictly about the Fussball. So long as you don't call it that.
And lo, FC fans have reason to rejoice. We have the coming of our chosen Young Designated Player Brenner Souza da Silva. Brenner, from the German for “to burn,” or an occupational name for a “distiller of spirits.” Souza, from the waters of the Sousa River in Portugal. And da Silva, meaning one who lives by the wood. Fire and spirits. Water. Wood. As I said, no hidden symbolism here.
Guiding Brenner will be Luciano Acosta, whose names comes from the Latin for “light” and the Spanish for “by the coast.” Lucho will act as the lighthouse, showing his teammates how to navigate rough waters and avoid crashing into the ground.
With these and others leading us, the FC faithful shall persevere, preach the good news of the team, and receive the holy trinity – three points awarded for a win. Out of one game, many points.
But, I say unto you, there are doubters, those who will tempt you to deny the FC. Doyle, the false prophet. Lahoud, the apostate. And Amaya, the Judas. Ask not for their love. Know that they speak with forked tongue. Allow not the fork to twirl you around with lies; instead, use the fork for your own ends, to cut to the truth.